i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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