He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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