He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
