I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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