I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
