well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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