She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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