Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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