i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
