my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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