Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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