Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
