Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
