I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
