i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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