i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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