Swine flu. Run for my life!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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