It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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