Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
