Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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