fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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