Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
