did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize