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Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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