I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
