oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I had to cum in my sink.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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