The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
