is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
