i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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