she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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