I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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