i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
