I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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