So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
