I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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