do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
