somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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