At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
