The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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