Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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