Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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