my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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