the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
