you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
organizing the empties. That sober.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
