I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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