I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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