Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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