A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize