i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let's get the cat blown out
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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