I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
