so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
