Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
