What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
