i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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