that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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