so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
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remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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