Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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