I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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