is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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