Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
