I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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