I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
