my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
